What's in a Name?

It's been a month since we said "I do" and partied all night long with 150+ of our closest, most amazing friends and families. A month of wedded bliss. I can't believe how quickly it's gone by since the month leading up to the wedding seemed to crawl.

We had a day between the wedding and departing on our honeymoon to sleep and finish packing. When we went home from the hotel on Saturday, it just seemed that we were pretending. Like we were just coming home from a party where we got all dressed up and danced all night long. Maybe like prom, except we're old enough to drink and there was a carousel. It didn't feel like anything had really changed.

Our dogs were already gone to his parents, and we were really too tired to even talk to each other. My mom came by to drop off my dress, the presents, and some other left over things from the Zoo. We ate lunch with her in pretty much silence. All I wanted to do was go crawl in bed and sleep, but I knew had to finish packing and not sleep through our 3 AM alarm clock for the airport. Seriously, the day between was so smart. We didn't waste any of our honeymoon resting up from the wedding! But, man, that day was rough.

But still, even our honeymoon felt mostly like we were just taking vacation. We've never been on vacation together, but it didn't really feel like anything had changed. Maybe it's because we lived together for a year before we got married. Please try to contain your shock that we lived in sin for a whole year. It made financial sense, and we were already engaged, so it was totally OK with our church. At least, I think I was, I never asked, and now I think it'd just be silly to open that door up.

So in the year of our engagement I started a new job, we bought a new house, we adopted a new puppy, we fought for about three months straight, we had major family drama happen, we combined our bank accounts, and our lives pretty much stayed in a perpetual state of change. So maybe that's why the day after the wedding seemed pretty normal but not "real."

I'm still waiting for the "difference" to set in, but for now, the only change that is really awkward for me is the name change.

Most of you know my real name is Amanda, not Mandie. I don't really answer to Amanda unless it comes from a familiar voice, like my mom, dad, or immediate family. I answer to Mandie, MT, Thacker, Mands, and Diamond (to Lea, anyway). So since I can't even seem to answer to my real first name, it should come as no surprise that I cannot for the life of me remember to answer to Mrs. Beeler. Or introduce myself as Mandie Beeler. Seriously, it's a super awkward situation every time where I said, "Hi, I'm Mandie Thacker...(long pause, awkward side glances)....Beeler." It doesn't help that schools apparently stopped teaching kids the difference in Miss, Mrs., and Ms. so my former TWC 101/102 students think I'm now Mrs. Thacker. Really? I'm pretty sure people rarely marry someone with the same last name, and when they do it, it's a super common last name like Smith, Moore, Davis, Clark, or Williams.

Anyway, my new license, social security card, staff ID, insurance cards, etc. all now say Amanda T Beeler, and I feel like I'm stuck in this weird place of lost identity. It's not that I don't love my new last name. Hearing P's fraternity brothers yell, "Mrs. Beeeeelerrrr" is definitely a highlight of my life. It's just that I've been Thacker for 27 years. I'll be 54 by the time I've been a Beeler as long as a Thacker. That is a long freakin' time people. Everyone seems to think the strangeness will pass and I will start to identify with my new name, so hopefully that will come soon so my poor husband doesn't give up on me.

This is exactly why I tried to get him to let me hyphenate or to combine our names and make a new one. Theeler or Backer would've TOTALLY worked, and we'd get to be confused together.