What do you need? What do you want?

With three showers behind us and three left to go (four if you count the lingerie shower at the bachelorette party), we get asked these questions a lot. I've had my girls-only bridal shower and he's had his manly tool's shower, so it's been really fun so far for both of us. But these questions: What do you really want off your registry? What do you need? I have a very difficult time answering. Luckily, almost all of our showers have some sort of theme attached to it - tools, chef's, toast the host, things appropriate for a Christian college parlor room shower, etc. From each of those lists, I can pretty much choose a few things to give options. 

But, most of the time, I respond with "whatever you'd prefer to give us" or "well, we want or need everything on our registry, so you can't lose!" because, honestly, there really is no good answer. On any given day I really want a particular (mostly random) thing. Just the other day I was telling MaidOH that I hate playing the "where's the paper towel roll?" game because P has moved it somewhere in the house, so I really wanted our paper towel roll holder. Apparently I believe it's magic and will somehow keep the paper towel roll locked in it's specific spot in the kitchen. Sometimes we run out of silverware particularly quickly, and I get excited knowing that relief is coming soon. Also, depending on if you ask me or P, you're going to get very different answers. He wants a juicer. I want place settings. Or any other combination of desires.

Next weekend my campus is having a yard sale, as a service project developed by one of our first-year courses, to raise scholarship funds. Faculty, staff, students, community members, etc. have been asked to donate items they'd otherwise give to Goodwill or another charity. In preparation, I've been sorting through our belongings, trying to determine what we really can live without. (Side note: I also did this back in December, taking a huge car load to Goodwill. P doesn't like parting with his belongings, so having to do this twice in one year might push this sweet man over his limit). Since we're not using any of our gifts prior to the wedding, following the rules of etiquette, there are many older, mismatched things we use that we're holding on to for the next 50 days. This presents even more problems - when we clean it out, do I hold it for next year's yard sale or do I go ahead and donate it to Goodwill? Luckily, I have a lot of storage room in my office "house," so the former will likely be the chosen option. 

We've both lived alone or with roommates, so we've gathered a lot of "things" over the years. Mostly hand-me-downs, yard sale buys, or cheap dollar store finds, the stuff we've acquired of the years holds a lot of memories. I've been combating my pack rat tendencies almost to the point of being a minimalist. P still has more clothes than me, even though he wears a (sexy) uniform everyday. Oh well. We're excited to fill our home with things that are ours, rather than his or mine. We didn't register for many "frivolous" things that we'll never use, like fine china or crystal platters. I don't have room to store dust collectors! We do have some "it'd be nice to have" things on the registry because, let's be honest, Bed, Bath, and Beyond will suck you in with it's beyond-ness. And, I love kitchen gadgets.

But, through this whole process, I've been thinking about those two questions. What do I really need or really want? Well, I want to be married to P. I want to go to sleep every night possible beside the man I love. I want to have a family with him. I want to go on new adventures with him. I want to know that I can talk his head off or say nothing at all and that we've still enjoyed the time spent together. I want to grow old with him. I want to retire with him. I want to have enough saved so that we'll be OK should we ever lose a job or get sick or if we ever have a friend in need, we'll be able to help. I need him in my life. None of these items on my "want or need list" require things, really. In 10 years, will we still be using the beautiful place settings? Well, I hope so, but there really is no telling. Will we still use the towels? Unlikely. Will we have bought new pots and pans? Probably. Will we still be going to sleep beside each other as many nights as possible? Abso-freakin-lutely.

The best part about all these showers? We get to spend time with those we love in small groups. This is especially been the best thing about the out-of-town showers, like the one we have coming up this weekend. Do we appreciate the amazing kindness of our friends and adore the gifts? Of course! But, the best gift I'm getting? P. And, I don't care how dingy, dented, or worn he gets, he's the only one I want, so there will never be a replacement purchase.